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365 No. 365
>This guide will give a very large list of opposing arguments, and the correct responses.

Have Fun Trolling Christian's!




>If religion is the source of all evil, then why was it a theist who invented the scientific method? (Bonus points if you reveal the theist was a crazy Muslim scientist)
[Actually, no you'll find that the scientific method was actually created in near 6000BCE by ancient Egyptians, who used and transcribed (at the time) widely know empirical methods within the fields of astronomy, mathematics, and medicine. Also, I have never personally claimed that "religion is the source of all evil". I have, however, claimed that religion is very pointless, and that being an Atheist is indeed a far cheaper method of living.]

>"Prove god doesn't exist"
[Oh, that is quite easy. Simply by saying that a god does not exist, makes a god disappear. If we all do it, then god has no power. You make god exist, god does not make god exist.]

>"Jesus died for your sins."
[No, he died because he claimed to be something that he wasn't, and a religious institution didn't like that. The religion, and religious people killed him.]

>"god doesn't believe in atheists."
[Nor do Atheists believe in god. I'm okay with this.]

>"It was an atheist that caused World War I and II and the Cold War."
[Incorrect, Hitler was a reformed western-orthodox christian. As for the other two, what does being a military leader and dictator have to do with the religions involved?]

>Tell them that if you don't seek god then He won't reveal Himself to you.
[In that case, you will never have proof in the existence of a god. Therefore, by default, I am correct in the fact that there is no god.]

>"If evolution is true, why are there still monkeys?" (This one in particular will tell you whether or not you have found the rare breed of atheist that isn't completely retarded, since most educated people can answer it.)
[Because evolution does not happen to the world as a whole, but in patches, and in many diverse environments. While our ancestors evolved from simple tool using primates. Other primates took a different path of evolution, due to the disillusion of the use of tools and weapons for foraging. We have evolved because of the need for active intelligence in our man-made environment. Thus through evolution, our work will become more complex, and more efficient.]

>"Evolution is only a theory."
[That is because it must be sustained as a "Theory" for a significant amount of time before becoming scientific fact. It is a theory, because we are still learning about the complex data processes involved in the mutation of DNA. We do not make it scientific fact unless we are entirely sure of what we are doing. This is why science has few flaws, and flaws we do have, are noticed and corrected almost instantaneously.]

>Pretend to be really surprised and full of pity when the atheist mentions his lack of faith.
[Thank you very much for your moral consideration, but there is no need to worry about me, for I do believe in a power higher than myself. One that as very powerful, and has the means to change my life in more ways than I could ever realize. The universe is just amazing like that.]

>Complain about the bias against intelligent design.
[Reply with Pastafarianism]

>"god did it...your science is NOTHING without god."
[If my science is nothing without god, then why do we see something in our results?]

>"Science is ALWAYS based on faith because you don't know if your hypothesis will turn out correctly."
[If our result does not support our original hypothesis, we say "Meh..." to ourselves, and just try a new one. There are millions of ways one can go about creating a lightbulb. Most of them actually do work, but just few work well enough to serve a daily purpose."

>"Put your trust in Jesus, not science."
[How can I put my trust in a man who's been dead for 2000 years; who didn't want to leave behind any trace of his existence. A man who's beliefs have shuge throbbing cockned countless conflicts, wars, murders and suicides in his name. A name that from all other possible sources, is a fictitious book, that is put together by a committee, in a nearly hidden fortress.]

>"Evolution leads to eugenics...just ask Hitler."
[Eugenics leads to cures, just ask a cancer patient.]

>"Hitler was an atheist."
[Incorrect, Hitler was a reformed western-orthodox christian.]

>"You believe we come from nothing."
[We don't know what we believe yet, because we are actually trying to find the answer. Though, most modern theory states that everything that we see today was created during a very average collision between to universes. Please read up on M-Theory, if it's not too much of your time.]

>Point out that their posts sound like evangelical preachers' rants, including their tone, intensity, rhyme and measure.
[I apologize if it sounds that way, but you weren't really letting me get my opinion in, so I had to make my point of view obvious and noticeable. Just in the hope that you might actually pay attention, rather than be "Holier than Thou".]

>Use arguements from esteemed scientist Kent Hovind. Oh yeah, and call him Dr. Hovind.
[Counter with another esteemed scientist, preferably one that doesn't attempt to reach pseudoscience.]

>"I prayed for all of you unwashed sinners today."
[I hope that makes you feel better about yourself. If you feel better, that is what's important right. To make myself feel better, whenever I get up to take a piss, I donate that wasted CPU time on my computer to research cures for HIV and AIDS. Next time you pray, think about all that wasted time. Time that could be put toward hugging the children you created, or actually working to make the world better for another person rather than just hoping it happens.]

>"Jesus said: Cast not pearls before swine."
[Atheist says: Cast metal, Construct buildings, House the swine, Dive for pearls.]

>"What up faith-cripples!" (Best to say when entering one of their forums)
[Sup ignorance-of-truth.]

>"No matter what I say or you say, Religion TOTALLY PWNED 9/11"
[Yes, religious extremists crashed planes into the World Trade Center's Towers on September 11th, 2001. If there was no religion, we would not have sent our soldiers to Iraq, and our economy would not have fallen.]

>"god loves all amputees, even faith amputees such as yourselves."
[I'm glad to hear that, and the Flying Spaghetti Monster loves all, no matter how little they believe in him.]
[Alternative Answer: How can god love that in which he does not believe?]

>"Moral relativism leads to hedonism and persecution of minorities."
[Trip: How so?]
[For the smart ones: Before making irrational statements, please clearly give me a non-religious definition of hedonism. Also, christian's are claiming to relate morality to their common message. This means that they to have parted in the persecution of minorities. If both the religious and the non-religious preform this, then it is a social commonality that all people preform, and we should all work to decrease our overall effect.]

>"Atheists are never moral because they do not believe in god," followed up by "Morals are god-given not man-made."
[Morals are man-made. In order to see a simple example of this, look at law. That is our moral standard and thus should be obeyed, and normally is, by the entire populous. Saying that Atheists are immoral, is also saying that Atheists do not operate within the confines of law; this is just simply not true.]

>"Evolution can't explain [something that has nothing to do with biology]."
[This is because evolution is a biological theory and not a {name of mentioned field} one.]

>Suggest that if you were down and out in Calcutta, you'd much rather see Mother Teresa than Christopher Hitchens.
[We help people in other means, such as growing crops, irrigating land, providing tangible answers to some of life's most difficult questions.]
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>> No. 366
>If all else fails, Goatse, pain and fifty Jesus posts never go amiss alongside with ALLAH AKBAR!!!
[This shows that they have no other responses, and have nothing else to provide other than a last ditch effort. You will by default.]

>"If god doesn't exist, THEN WHO WAS PHONE!?"
[The Flying Spaghetti Monster.]

>Insist that Science is dogmatic.
[No, no it isn't. However, if it were dogmatic, that would make it resemble religion. That would wouldn't have a problem with, and you wouldn't be arguing with me now.]

>Bring up abortion and call the atheists baby killers (regardless of their actual stance).
[If-by-whiskey, Naturalistic fallacy, Negative proof fallacy, Red Herring, Argument from repetition, Argument from ignorance, Demanding negative proof, False attribution... etc, are just a small list of logical fallacies presented by this accusation.]
[Point out specifically the "Red Herring", and "Negative proof" logical fallacies, and purely conclude. "This matter is completely irrelevant, and you are purposely deviating from the discussion at hand. On top of this what you have claimed is both slander, and in deformating to may character. Nor do you know my actual position on the pro-choice, pro-life issue. You have lost this argument because you have felt that the only way to can win, is to insult me with direct slander, and locking me into a christian stereotype of Atheist opinion.]

>Bring up a random topic in Quantum Mechanics, be as misleading as possible, and argue that it proves the existence of god (known as Quantum Wankery).
[Ask him specifically what a spin network is. This is the basis of Quantum Mechanics. If he cannot answer this question, he has no real knowledge of the subject. Point this fact out immediately, and then continue about how is specifically proves that god does not exist, backed up with very specific research.]

>The way Christians get all of their arguments from the Bible, atheists get all of their arguments from The god Delusion. So saying something along the lines of "Maybe if you formed your own opinions once in a while, instead of parroting everything Dawkins spits out of his sinful mouth, you could truly see the glory of god!" is always worth a good try.
[Who is "Dawkins"?] (Seriously, I have no idea who Dawkins is, and I have never read "The god Delusion". I, however, have heard that it is a good book.)

>Atheists do not really hate religion just christfags. Tell them you are a Buddhist,Hindu or Scientologist and agree with everything they say. Keep bringing up the fact that you are a part of whatever religion you said you were. If they start to attack your religion agree with them via this copy pasta "Yes I see how that could be, the teachings of _______ taught me to be very open minded and i think you are right but i am still a firm believer in _______". When they find a person they can't argue with they reach the next level of fucking nuts. Sit back and catch some lulz.
[No, we indeed do hate all religions that believe in a higher power. However, we do not condemn religious philosophies like Buddhism, Taoism, Maoism, and Zaoism.]
[Argue that scientology is indeed not a religion, but rather science fiction. If they agree with what you say, you are wining the argument. It is best to remain calm no matter what they post. When they counter attack your attack on their religion, claim that if they truly have an open mind, that they would take real consideration in what you have said. If they are adament in their religious stance. Say, "To you I am offering a means to find the real truth for all of us, this and nothing less.]

>Tell them to take the Atheist Challenge. As the atheist does not believe in anything science cannot prove, the atheist must talk to his girlfriend/wife and tell her that love is a very unscientific thing and is a Christian belief. He must also explain to her that love is only a physical attraction and a byproduct of biochemical reactions in his brain. Post-conversation survival is a passing grade.
[The atheist does indeed believe in more that what science can prove. Love, the ghost in the machine, the twilight zone, and other supernatural occurrences. Just because I have no religion, does not mean we can't be logically superstitious, and paranoid. Love is a beautiful chemical connection between to people, same sex or otherwise. We know it is biochemical, but we also love the feeling that those chemicals give us. Though, I have taken the Atheist challenge with each of my girlfriends at least once. All of them, have ended up cuddling and having sex with me afterwards.]

>Point out that dark matter and dark energy, by their very nature, are impossible to detect and can only be hypothesized by secondary evidence. Just like god. Science believes in something it can't prove!
[Just because we haven't proven that the Earth isn't round yet, doesn't mean its flat. This a lesson we can all receive in life, good things come in life to those who wait. Just because we can prove is exists does not mean that is does not exist. You can say the same thing about god, but until you have important empirical evidence; We will continue to make to world a better place for all of us, and continue making new discoveries about the universe.]

>Apparently, atheism has its own definition of free speech: When I attack you, it's just criticism. When you attack me, you should be BEATEN AND EXECUTED.
[Only you have said I have ever wanted to do that. Yes, I do believe in complete free speech. However, free speech had no relevance to the topic at hand.

>Copy/paste info from conservapedia's article on atheism. (Such as atheists donate less to charities than christians).
[This is because we spend the money searching for resolutions to the problems directly. Rather than donating to church run charities that do not help or aid the parties in question, and pocket 80% of their donations directly to centers of religious institution. For example: Mother Teresa's House of Pain.]

>Tell them "Jesus Loves them" and for extra lulz give them a hug and a bible and see how they react
[Say thank you, Hug them back, and except the bible as a token of gratitude.]

>Tell them they're going to hell because god hates faggots
[Refer everyone nearby to "http://godhatesfags.com" and "http://godhatesamerica.com".]
>> No. 367
Yes there are a fuckton of grammatical errors.
It is however still understandable. So deal with it.
>> No. 368
Wow, uh, some Christian "arguments" presented here are so stupid that I don't even know if discussion will actually work. Seriously, especially that part about evolution...I pity America.
I kinda gave up debating on the internet, because most atheists were actually just "Dawkinsfags" (atheists who wanted to play it cool and go against their family and get attention, so rebel) and the rest Christians sounded pretty much like the way you said. Feels ronery, arrogant and bad, man.

This guide is just fine for Protestants, especially for non-denominational (oxymoron, eh?) and autonomous ones. You need some better training when facing larger branches of Christianity though, people there can actually read.

Signed,
a supposed Christian (?)
(I think, I guess)
>> No. 369
>>1708
Strengthen your convictions, or Jesus won't acknowledge you in front of the Father!
>> No. 370
>>1708
Personally, I think you just give up Christianity if you're not really sure. I'm not saying to abandon religion completely. Just find one that you feel more natural within.

As for needing refinement for more intelligent branches of Christian/Catholic denominations. I have seen almost every longstanding debate boils down to at least of the arguments on this list.

I'm sure I will find this to be very useful.
>> No. 371
>>1711
It's just that I started leading a more secular life. I'm being a big loser lately, I generally don't care about anything at all...
Also, try an Eastern Orthodox forum. This is a dare. The thing is that almost no atheist has ever read any of the works of the Church Fathers. You'll give up the very moment they start speaking about them.
>> No. 372
>>1713
As an Atheist, I would figure that those writings would be nothing more than religious teachings. So there would be no reason for me, or for any other Atheist to read them. If they had thought to have proven the existence of a holy deity, I would have heard of them by now. Yet, obviously I haven't.

tl;dr: Book without information relevant to my interests, are not important.
>> No. 373
>>1714
If you're facing a Christian who doesn't know a thing about the Early Church, yes, you won't need them. Well, they're still amazing philosophical works and some can help you understand some grave misunderstandings (seeming contradictions) you see in the Bible and that's all.
>> No. 374
>>1717
Hmm, well it sound like it's worth looking into. Got any good references.
>> No. 375
Sometimes I like to take my pants off and run around the room. Then I slam my nuts in the door over and over, in the hopes that they will fall off so I can continue having unprotected sex with my younger sister and not have to worry about impregnating her.
>> No. 376
>>1723
That sounds painful. You should get a vasectomy, it's quicker and doesn't hurt as much. I guess it might be a problem if you can't afford it, but you could always try doing it yourself.
>> No. 377
>1723
Okay then.
>> No. 378
>>1704
>>1703
This is relevant to my interests
>> No. 379
1. Go to Soaring's guide
2. Ask an atheist any of the sample questions
3. Once they respond, ignore their point and ask another question
4. ???
5. CONVERSION!
>> No. 380
Don't quit your day job at 7-11 to become a historian. The Egyptians did not have 'widely known' empirical methods in the sciences. Only a few pieces of evidence survive that give rise to a
theory by some Egyptologists that they may have known some aspects of what we call the scientific method.

While the Greeks and then Arabs contributed to its foundation most of the modern scientific methodology of observation, hypothesis, experimentation and independent verification were based on the work of 16th century (and later) European scientists like Galileo, Sir Francis Bacon, etc. That they happened to be Christian is true but not necessarily required for them to have done so.

If you're going to argue against religion and--presumably--embrace reason then go that extra step and get your info correct. Nothing worse than a babbler claiming some sort of intellectual superiority whether atheism or theism that can't get basic information correct.
>> No. 381
moving thread to /id/.
>> No. 382
Learn to spell, you took all this from ED and you never read the bible ever in your life because if you have then you would know that most of what you say isn't true.
>> No. 383
>>1775
never fuck with MY soaring.
>> No. 384
>380
tl'dr: Egyptians Invented the Scientific Method, it was perfected by the ancient greeks. I knew that already, simple answers for simple people. People on chans are retards, this is made for those retards.

>382
lol punctuation...
I've read the bible twice, but the bible is hardly relevant to my statements. The bible is a work of fiction, thus there is no truth in it.
>> No. 387
>>382
>Have read the bible
>Posting on /id/

Hah funny stuff
>> No. 421
>>384

You'll answer for these conjectures in due time.

As for the believers, we'll keep working to make your world a better place despite your hatred and animosity of your fellow man.

You seem also to believe that humans do not work toward a goal when they operate under faith, which is quite the opposite of the reality. Those driven by faith often work harder and for longer hours and to greater effect in their endeavors than those who simply work because they are paid to, or because they want to be remembered after they die. Theists don't care if they are remembered or not, they just want to contribute to a significantly better world. In the case a Gnostic Theist(which is uncommon, mind) is ever malign, they need to be either corrected or removed from society, due to the nature of human beings. I fully expect you to continue your own malignance in conjecture and blind hatred, and stress that you need to learn benevolence. It could only help.
>> No. 425
>>421
HAHAHA,trying to look smart but do generalization.
You're funny,really.
I like to way you troll.
>> No. 426
File 12815110513.jpg - (114.05KB , 582x427 , JimSmoke47.jpg )
426
>>OP being an atheist troll.
Quantamn physics. That's all I've got to say to you newfag.

But I'll be nice and give you a video. Project Venus. You may call it "Rapture"!
>> No. 427
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=68Y363-gPX8
>> No. 429
>>427
it make sense,of course the guy dont have the whole answer,but he sure is right about living on water.

and that memory metal is great,i want some
>> No. 446
>>426

I am an astrophysicist (grad student), and I lol'd. What a bold and misguided implication, which reveals an extreme bias and obvious misunderstanding.

CARL SAGAN SEZ U BE A RETARD BILLIONS AND BILLIONS OF TIMES OVER. Also, I am surprised that you have time to formulate an opinion on the current paradigms of quantum mechanics in between all the Yaoi you supposedly lurk.

How does it feel to be so pathetic?

By the way, I found it hilarious reading the obvious denial most theists are in and the "yes, but not my brand of religion" mentality.

Oh please, lawrdy lawrdy, my saviour, let me live with you in the big disneyland in the sky. Let me bathe in pixie dust and ride flying unicorns.

Man is so, so, pathetic. P.S. The Game, for good measure.
>> No. 448
>>426
>Quantamn physics
>> No. 453
This thread is absolutely loaded with failure.

I'm ashamed to call you people my fellow man.


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